Glossy cover of Brown Eros magazine; the notorious coprophage Toilet Tester, teeth clotted with excrement, poised before the bathroom mirror with a length of dental floss. The first pictorial composition in the collection is titled Enema Clinic. It contains twelve colour stills, each of which is accompanied by a brief narrative text.
Tableau Vivant: 1
A young man is seated alone in what is either a genuine or an accurate facsimile of a surgery’s waiting room. Legs crossed on an upholstered bench, he is pretending to be engrossed in a lifestyle magazine. The youth is dressed casually in a beige tracksuit. He has lank brown hair parted down the middle. On his top lip is a wispy effusion masquerading as a moustache, grown in a stillborn attempt to convey adulthood. The youth is slim with a face scarred by acne. Behind the reception desk is an amply proportioned blonde with a comfortingly open, motherly face and bearing, dressed in nurse’s uniform. She is stagily posed, telephone held to the ear. A print of Grosz’s Suicide hangs on the wall behind her.
Heinrich has been suffering from stomach cramps. He goes to see Doctor Val at the surgery. He gets more treatment than he bargains for. What a pair of sewer cunts!
Tableau Vivant: 2
The young man is in the doctor’s ’office’. He is staring at his knees despondently. The doctor is a blue smock identical to the nurse’s. It is unbuttoned to reveal the reveal the cups of a white lace bra attempting unsuccessfully to support a sagging bosom. In the background are a leather couch and a set of screens. A glass cabinet cursorily stocked, inside, which can be, glimpsed a metal bedpan, pipettes and a packet of sutures. The doctor is conspicuously wearing a curly black wig of impressive mass, her countenance lurching into middle age, is bawdy and defiant. Her plump legs are parted to display her pubic bush. She is wearing white socks and white clogs.
“Doctor, I’m not feeling well.”
“Dicky tum eh? Too much bratwurst! We’ll lighten your load, in more ways then one.”
“I’d be awfully grateful, Doctor Val.”
“I’ll bet you would! Sister Renate, can you come through please.”
Tableau Vivant: 3
Renate stands next to Val, their arms linked, smiling complicity. Heinrich is stretched out on the couch, gazing at the ceiling to which his penis is rigidly pointing. His eyes are pale and remembering, arms pinned tightly to his sides, as if confining to the material strictures of an invisible coffin.
“Of course fellatio.”
Tableau Vivant: 4
Close up of Doctor Val fellating Heinrich. Her mouth easily encapsulates his penis, scarlet lips making contact with scrotal sack, tawny hairs collected under her nostrils. Renate is practically out of shot, only the tip of her tongue, furtively jabbing at Heinrich’s balls, is visible.
Heinrich gets a hell of a good sucking.
“I just love this job,” says Sister Renate.
“And I love Heinrich’s dick,” says Doctor Val.
Tableau Vivant: 5
Renate is biting the penis. Heinrich’s mien is one of pain and alarm.
Dr Val enjoys meaty action.
“Do you think I could claim this on the NHS?” asks Heinrich like a Jew.
“Well you can only try.”
“Hey, save some of that cock for me!” cries horny Renate.
Tableau Vivant: 6
Heinrich has mounted the nurse; both of them now stripped naked, in the missionary position on the couch, his penis partially inserted into her vagina. Renate has her eyelids closed and is caressing her upper lip with her tongue. Heinrich, supporting himself on flattened palms, is looking straight ahead at a sideways angle to the lens, focusing on something the camera hasn’t captured. Dr Val, also fully undressed, is parting his buttocks and fingering the rectum.
He fucks Sister Renate the sexy beast while Doctor Val licks his chocolate ring.
“I wish you could piss in my cunt,” says Renate.
“Too fucking tight mate!” laughs Heinrich.
Tableau Vivant: 7
Heinrich’s penis is pointed at Doctor Val’s left breast. Beads of semen surround the nipple.
Sister Renate wipes Heinrich’s milk on Doctor Val’s tits. Now for the clear out.
Tableau Vivant: 8
Heinrich, arms tethered behind his back, posterior aimed heavenwards, his face blue and swollen, right eye closed and black, has had an enema syringe inserted into his anus by Renate, who is squeezing the rubber bulb.
Heinrich is the Christmas turkey.
Tableau Vivant: 9
A watery jet of excreta lands on Renate’s bosom to her feigned delight.
He squirts his shit on Renate’s huge tit service.
Tableau Vivant: 10
Close up shot of a carving knife buried up to the shaft in Heinrich’s rectum. There is blood everywhere.
They teach dirty little boy a lesson! Up his scaffold’s eye.
Tableau Vivant: 11
Heinrich’s corpse has been placed on the tiled floor. Doctor Val is crouched over his face urinating into his mouth. Renate is holding his emasculated penis between her blood-smeared lips, and, squatting over the hole in his groin, is straining to emulate Doctor Val.
“Come on Percy, what’s your problem,” says Renate, mouthful of cock, farting like a trooper as she squeezes out a golden drop. Doctor Val can piss all day!
Tableau Vivant: 12
Overhead shot of Valerie and Renate lying either side of Heinrich’s corpse, beaming at the camera, faces anointed with blood and faeces. The cadaver’s visage has been flayed from the head allowing the skull a moment in the sun.
Everyone is happy and in love.